I never thought the dimensions of a room would take up so much space in my brain, but space and time have been at the forefront of my mind and the minds of so many over the past couple of years. The recent pandemic seems to have forced us, or maybe given us, the opportunity to wake up and see ourselves, the people around us, the world, the constructs we live in, the history of these constructs, our relationship to time, and our existence in space. Professionally, in terms of space, I went from a therapist in a group practice with 2 offices that I shared with my colleagues, to a private practice in my bedroom in a condo that I shared with my family, and then finally to a beautiful individual office space.
These transitions moved me to vastly different parts of the city as well. From downtown, with a crowded elevator high-rise and exquisite view of the river to Lakeview with a bustling hall of colleagues from different practices. I then transitioned to North Chicago with my family in the next room and doors and sound machines dividing us, to the diverse and queer-friendly Andersonville with a beautiful, serene space of my creation.
These experiences, these changes, and these choices have helped solidify who I am and what I value about space.
Space has always been extremely important to me. Thinking about space preoccupied a lot of my youth. I was always extremely conscious of the spaces I was in, who was in them with me, how they were decorated, the energy of the space, and my comfort level both emotionally and physically.
I have always valued spaces that are open for all.
Spaces that engage the senses without overwhelming them.
Spaces with books.
Spaces that invite people to “take up space.”
Spaces with comfortable areas to put one’s body.
Spaces that welcome movement.
Spaces that feel secure.
Spaces with tea.
Spaces that are energetically light, so that one can find their own breath.
Spaces filled with laughter.
Spaces with plants.
Spaces that hold pain.
Spaces with art.
Spaces that resonate with quietness yet are not threatened by noise.
Spaces that are shared.
I created the Inner Choice Psychotherapy offices with these values in mind. It has been emotional for me to be able to open up the office space as the management of the pandemic has improved. To share space with my clients is an experience that is hard to describe in words. I am so grateful that I was able to see all my clients via Zoom during the pandemic and did not have to stop providing care when it was needed the most. Teletherapy has been life saving to many, and I continue to see clients remotely, but opening the door of my office to see a human body and soul in the waiting room, to greet them, feel their energy, to see them schlep their bags, wash their hands, make themselves tea, to sit across from them and feel their energy in a space meant for them to fill, brings me joy.
Recently, in order to expand on my value of shared space, I have created a shared space collective called Inner Space at Inner Choice Psychotherapy. Inner Space is a beautiful, communal, office that can be rented and used for psychotherapy, group, energy or body work.
I have had the privilege over the past few months to share the space with 3 colleagues whom I respect immensely. I have valued these experiences as much as I value sharing the space with my clients. When someone next to you, divided by a wall and sound machines, is doing the same therapeutic work, it creates an energy that is like no other. It is quiet, respectful, intense, broadening, and alive. It makes the work of being a therapist less isolating and normalizes this therapeutic experience for clients. Poking my head into the second office and saying good morning to a colleague reminds me of one of the messages of Heinz Kohut. Kohut believed that we all need other people; we cannot become fully thriving selves without others.
I recognize that it is a privilege for me to even be able to think about space, let alone make intentional choices about my space. I recognize and understand that many, many humans are living in spaces so uncomfortable for them and have no recourse to change that. I understand that as I sit in my warm and safe space writing this blog, many humans are fleeing their homes and looking for safety, many are being hurt in the homes they have, and many do not have a space to flee to. I recognize all of this and believe it is imperative for us all to hold more than one thought in our psyches at a time. To be able to hold the pain of injustice while at the same time holding the vision for a more equitable, safe, future for all. A future where all people have a secure, clean, and sacred space to return to.
I also know that meaning cannot always be found by a wished or envisioned resolve of suffering. Victor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning, stresses the importance of finding meaning in the questioning of suffering and not solely in the survival of it.
I invite you to contemplate the spaces you fill, ponder your values in relation to space, ask those you share space with if they want to share their values with you, question whether you are creating a space that works for you and those around you, and to fully recognize those without spaces and those without resources.
Places to help if able and inclined:
Chicago Coalition For The Homeless
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
If interested in more information about Inner Space, please reach out via email at innerspace@innerchoicetherapy.com
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