Existing is exhausting right now. 

I find myself saying this in almost every session these days. 

Existing is exhausting

It is exhausting to get up.

To get dressed.

To nourish yourself.

To know that you are going out into the world, the world that is so troubled.

To know that as you put on your clothes to protect your body, you also need to put on your emotional protective gear.

The protective gear that will surface unconsciously will be the echoes from your past when you felt afraid, alone, scared, and unnourished. 

To be able to identify these unconscious responses, comfort that young child who experienced them, and consciously make choices to protect yourself differently.

All before breakfast.

To understand that the best defense is self-worth.

Feeling unworthy in the midst of the troubled world, a swirling energy of chaos that you cannot figure out how to solve.

To be rendered powerless while trying to find the protection of empowerment. 

But wait, there is a red tomato on the vine.

That signals to me that I am here. 

Existing in the exhaustion.